Showing posts with label #AmazonBestseller. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #AmazonBestseller. Show all posts

Monday, March 23, 2015



Art © Andrei Pervukhin, All Rights Reserved -http://pervandr.deviantart.com/
Story © Corey Blankenship, All Rights Reserved
Characters © Unknown, All Rights Reserved
Brought to you by Four Fools Press: “Crazy Good Stories”

 Twin hinged doors swung on the evening breeze. The high roof the local saloon glinted gold in the last light of the sun. The gleam vanished like the residents from the muddy lanes, transforming the once bustling Danish village into a gloomy ghost town. The silver plaque by the paneled doors told every wandering stranger the name of the local drinking hole: Heorot, pride of the mayor. No upstanding man would pass this threshold during these watches of the night. At least, such stout men dared not come since the vile shadow crept forth from the devil's pasture. Only monsters and heroes seemed to cross the Mojave wastes.

Foreign clad heavies sat strewn about the card tables and along the bar. Fierce faces and bright eyes crowned powerful bodies, each with sure hands and fearless spirits. Greater still sat their leader in the far-end of the drink house. His hat brim stood wide and flat, a black mesa looming over the plain of the table, though dipped low to cover half-closed eyes. Fleeces from distant mountains clad his skin, while a fine-stitched poncho draped mighty sinew and muscle. Images of past battles and slain beasts danced along its hem and his arms. This grisled traveler from strange lands squared his shoulders toward the darkening entrance. He chewed a Cuban between clamped jaws, another trophy from another journey. Tonight his word lay on the gambling table. His foe had bested the quickest hands and the fiercest marshals Mayor Hrothgar had at his disposal. All had been shredded limb from limb by el hijo de Cain. Taking his cue from a circulated poster, he ventured above the great river with his posse and a mighty boast: He would kill this "Grendel" man-to-man. The hazel-eyed fighter glared at the gates of death and dared the fates to spit the child of el Diablo through their doors.

While the men slept with hands upon holsters, the foul beast stirred from the hills outside the township limits. This evil spirit slinked down the barren streets, straight into Heorot's swinging gates. Hell-fire smouldered in its wicked gaze as Grendel eyed the room. Twenty men slept easy, churning its vicious hunger. The monster pounced, shearing head and shoulders from the first gunslinger. Grendel slurped this one, then leaped to the next. Three fell before the creature came to the leader in his chair. Blood and drool dripped from its jaws as the fiend bore upon the slouched hat. Hands faster than lightning leaped from under the poncho! Grendel roared in surprise as steel-beam fingers plowed into its thick fur, twisting and pulling. Hazel eyes burned with righteous wrath as the man slammed the monster upon the table, splintering the table and hurling chips along the floorboards. Grendel bounded from the wrecked card table and punched into the fighter's chest. The two smashed into a dresser and its accompanying glass mirror.

Shards and curses flew through the air as the slumbering posse woke to their boss' tussle. The men watched the quarrel amazed at the ferocity of man and beast. Grendel clawed with machete-sized talons, gouging a pillar as the fighter ducked and kicked the monster in the chest. Cain's kid slid along the bar, and the leader jumped after him. The flat-hatted fighter picked up a flagon and guzzled a drought before pummeling Grendel's wide jaw. The creature twisted and pawed his shoulder, flipping the foe onto his back. Sickle fangs flashed for the bearded face, only as a knee punched into its ribs. Both tumbled off the counter, limbs flailing into the whiskey bottles. A crystal rainstorm erupted, sprinkling glass and liquor upon the bloody duelers.

Grendel howled and rammed through the counter's wall, dragging the fighter clamped around its haunches. The hell-spawn mule-kicked, launching the fighter onto balcony. It jumped from another table and after its hated enemy. The man already stood and clasped the sailing monster by its oncoming paws, driving it back over the railing. Beast blasted through a third table with its enemy on top. Grendel raged, gnashed its teeth, and sought to gouge the man with wicked talons. Blades threatened the fighter from all sides, hewing the floorboards and nearby posts. Yet, fist for fang the man fought.

Gunshots rang out as the surrounding men feared their leader would die. No lead forged from the campfires or forges of men would ever singe that wicked creature's hide. Then, at last, the fighter's hands gripped a mangy arm, holding fatal claws away from his neck and bearing down with his own brutal strength. Through gritted teeth and smoking cigar, he growled. The man jerked the monster's limb violently, ripping bone from socket and skin from flesh. Grendel wailed, as its hissing blood stained the floor. The beast shot from under the fighter, tearing through a final column and the formerly cursed doors. With a mortal shriek, the child of satan and Cain raced through the oily-black night. Amid shouts of joy, the fighter rose, holding the mangled limb for all to see.

The posse cried aloud their praise, a better gospel than the bell in the steepled church. The valiant man collected a still upright jug and swigged the honeyed juice inside, relishing in the victory of the night. He looked at the bloody stump on the counter and smiled in his grim manner.

His faithful second held a brimming mug and cheered, "Beowulf, you'll be the talk of the country after tonight!"

The bright-eyed fighter grinned and finished his drink. 

***
Today's Monday Mischief draws from an Anglo-Saxon oldie, Beowulf!


 
For more monsters and heroes check out, The Truth is Out There!
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00UKBZDD8/

3-23-15 Monday Mischief
3:12 PM

3-23-15 Monday Mischief

Wednesday, March 18, 2015


Artwork © Frans Mensink, All Rights Reserved
Image Altered by Four Fools Press Without Permission
Story and Characters © Corey Blankenship, All Rights Reserved 
Brought to you by Four Fools Press: “Crazy Good Stories”

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UQWE3M8
In response to a fantastic review, author Corey Blankenship seeks to give interested fans a little more insight into his latest novel, Night's Nadir! Let us know what you think! Warning: Some spoilers lurk inside this "epi-prologue" intermission between Barnabas' adventures!


 “Priority alpha…?”

His head swam as if a bottle of rubbing alcohol had been dumped inside his skull. He went to rub his temples and immediately regretted the gesture. His fingers pressed thick gauze through a ragged hole, touching the scratchy material to something hard and smooth: bone. The rubbing alcohol ignited into a mind-gnawing inferno. Barnabas nearly spilled his insides on the table as his head spasmed away from his betraying hand.

“You might not want to touch that,” a gentle voice admonished.

Barnabas opened puffy eyelids, which ached from the effort. Light pounced through the open wounds, adding heat to his mental fire. Whatever vigor brought him to life had ebbed to a nearly mortal scale. What a hellacious dream… The internal moan swirled to the front of the turbulent fumes of his smouldering thoughts. Then, a steel resolve closed around the pain, screening it off into a proper kiln to distill his memories. His gaze narrowed and took in the scene about him. Barnabas had been taken to the wire before--though he had never crossed the Line as he had after the despairing flight from the mines of Mufkat.

Mufkat...

Few details adorned the room. The sterile stucco walls, sandstone tiled floors, and solid cedar door suggested the grizzled veteran remained in the Middle East. Barnabas noted that the stainless steel table underneath his hands offered scant reflection, scoured of any detail or edges. Heavy pieces of forged metal clung and chafed unforgivingly at his wrists: handcuffs. He adjusted his stiff legs. Besides the bone-searing ache in every muscle and joint, a dull chink told him the truth.

Barnabas had been taken prisoner.

“Interesting…” A man pronounced in a polished, emotionless tone.

The veteran studied the figure who leaned against the far wall. Hazel eyes, devoid of apparent interest, scrutinized the prisoner; his manicured beard and hair, both the color of riverbed silt, framed his impassive gaze and sharp jawline; his two-piece suit and coordinated tie announced his allegiance. Barnabas’ gut kindled. The warning beacon reached the will-induced calm section of his mind.

Sector 7.

The captive looked from the oily-haired agent to his partner. The agent sat before Barnabas, his features softer than the others, crowned by neatly-parted golden locks. Only the thick, Norse-looking beard kept him from looking like a cherub. Sapphire eyes sparkled, lines stretching out along the skin around them. The well-worn folds around his gaze hinted to Barnabas this one felt the pains of others. A decanter and cup sat in front of the agent. He pushed the crystal glass across the table into Barnabas’ reach.

“Here, drink. This will help with your headache,” the captor offered.

“What is in it?” Barnabas croaked as he eyed the clear liquid.

“Just water. It’s pure, straight from the Source,” the man added.

Barnabas noted the strange emphasis on Source, but his gut didn’t trigger. Perhaps this will quench the furnace in my skull...or poison me. An occupational hazard, the veteran mused. He sipped, then chugged as the frigid water rinsed over his cracked lips, parched gum beds, and down his arid throat. A pleasant tingling flushed through starved tissue, as though thousands of tributaries awakened and carried the enlivening fluid into the ravaged desert of his body. What had been a wasteland of torn flesh bristled with renewed vitality. The skin around his wrapped wounds shivered with a tickling sensation. The heady warmth of revelry started to replace the famished hunger of pain in his head. He nearly tossed the cup across the table in his hunger for more.

“Hold on there, Barnabas,” the standing man commanded in his languid tone.

“We’ll give you more. Don’t worry,” offered the one at the table.

“How do you know my name?” Strength returned to Barnabas’ voice. So did suspicion.

“You’re well known to the Sector,” the first agent replied, “at least to those who have to deal with your antics.”

“The Sector wastes its resources if it keeps tabs on a lowly soldier,” Barnabas countered.

The agent stepped from the wall and leaned over the table. His voice sparked with a flinty tone. “A professor-turned-paramilitary officer is not so low as you think. Especially for the group you’ve thrown in with.”

“Silas,” the other agent interjected, putting a hand on his partner’s arm. “Let’s take things slowly. He just stepped back from the Other Side, after all. Besides, it would’ve been more work for us if he remained in the Pit.”

Silas sighed. “Yeah, guess you’re right, Thomas. Then again,” Silas returned his steely gaze to the prisoner, “him having the Piece makes things sticky. A lot more sticky.”

“True,” Thomas poured a glass of water, but didn’t pass it to captive. “Why don’t you help us fill in the blanks, Barnabas? What happened in the mines?”

Barnabas stared at the glass, then at Thomas. This wasn’t his first interrogation. “You know my name and rank. That is all you need to know.”

Sad lines furrowed further in Thomas’ face. Silas frowned. “You can either tell us or we will draw the memories kicking and screaming from your head.”

The words came without menace, as if spoken as fact.

Thomas nudged the glass closer, but not quite into arm’s reach. “It’s far simpler if you share in your own words--and much more pleasant for everyone involved.”

“What would you care to hear a Jadd’s story of ancestors, the Land of Turquoise, and the pride of being the first civilization?” chuckled the prisoner.

Silas tersely replied, “Everything. You’re no grandfather, and we both know there is more to the story.”

“True,” Barnabas stretched the word. His temple throbbed. “I have not been so fortunate to settle down. Your kind keeps me busy abroad.”

“You underestimate our patience, Barnabas.” Thomas interrupted. “Your deflections, while humorous, only delay the process. But they do not disrupt our progress. We have you here. We will eventually have the Altar Piece.”

“So you plan to take the turquoise wall panel? You’d destroy a priceless artifact?” The veteran quipped.

Silas laughed. “No, that stone will stay locked in the earth. Your men will see to that.”

Thomas weighed in. “We get the Altar Piece. You get the vault. It’s a win-win.”

Barnabas wondered why they gave up on the mines. More would lurk in the parallel tunnels the other squad had entered. What did they want? The vault has the Gate and Keystone to the Pharoah's Prison. He mentally added, of Djinn, apparently.

He didn't want to know what price the kings of old had paid to seal, and then wield, such spirits. A terrible secret he hoped the Sons could keep from foul hands.

As if reading his mind, Silas tipped his hand, “Whatever happened in the vault, you walked away with the Altar Piece. The Boss only knows why…but we are here to collect it.”

The image of a blue-flamed cross shimmered in Barnabas’ mind. Then a golden-red storm consumed it. He shuddered.

“Herein lies the problem. We can’t get the Piece out of you. Not yet, anyway…” continued Silas.

“It’s not yours to have,” Barnabas retorted. Whatever he had, he would not surrender it.

“Nor is it yours,” Silas answered deadpan.

Thomas pressed the cup into the prisoner’s hands. “We want to free you from this burden. It’s not yours to bear. Look at the state it’s already left you in.”

Barnabas accepted the drink and imbibed with more reserve. Another wave of clarity and cleansing coursed through him. He felt like a new man. The image of hissing fangs and hungering fire fizzled. The symbol of the handled cross burned clearer. His most recent past ordered itself, and, for a time, could not haunt him. He remembered the Gate. He remembered the djinn. He remembered the Power. Power that the springwater seemed to feed.

“What do mean by Altar Piece?” Barnabas queried.

Thomas smiled faintly, “All you need to know is that these artifacts belong in the most secure place possible. Mufkat had been safe enough, until your group from the Sons of Alexandria uncovered the secret vault’s existence.”

“Sorry to be so productive,” the veteran added wryly.

“Anyway, we will move these Pieces forthwith out of the Field,” Silas concluded. “Starting with the one inside your head.”

“I’m afraid gentlemen, it won’t be so easy.” Barnabas said. “These artifacts belong in the hands of museums.”

The veteran had already guessed the door would be locked. He hadn’t seen weapons, but he knew appearances were deceiving. Whatever these agents were capable of, he knew they hadn’t prepared for him to use the Piece. Perhaps they thought he didn’t know what it was or how to use it. Unless he wanted to stay and stretch his military-grade counter-interrogation training, Barnabas would have to activate the symbol. What had they called him?, he recalled.

The Wild Card.

He smiled broadly and said in a generous tone, “Thank you for the hospitality and insightful conversation, but I have a mission to finish.”

The veteran mentally touched the Mark lurking inside him. The Ankh blazed into sight on his forehead and violently flashed, filling the room in blinding azure flames. Barnabas disappeared, engulfed in fire. In the afterglow, the stucco blackened to tar and the floor to soot. The door had enkindled along its frame.

“Sulphur and Smoke!” cursed Silas, patting his fuming suit.

Thomas collected himself off the floor and righted the warped table. “We better alert the entire Sector.”

Silas grimaced. He touched an uncomfortably warm earpiece, sending out the alert. “...and now the Wild Card knows that there are other Pieces. I repeat, Priority Alpha is at large.”
***
If you like this, you can also check out another of our latest Four Fools Releases, The Truth Is Out There - already an Amazon Bestseller! Get your copy today!



3-18-15 Wednesday Write-up
2:47 PM

3-18-15 Wednesday Write-up

Monday, March 16, 2015



Story © Corey Blankenship, All Rights Reserved
Characters © Jules Verne, All Rights Reserved
Brought to you by Four Fools Press: “Crazy Good Stories”

"The Avenger!" I exclaimed.

"Yes, Sir, the Avenger! A good name!" muttered Captain Nemo, crossing his arms.

The terrible specter that lay broken in the depths disappeared at intervals as we climbed toward the surface. I stared upon the Captain, changed by his mood. Fury shifted his leonine features into a masque of horror: Eyes burned white-hot with the fires of a world-engine; long rows of opalescent fangs stretched forth from a draconian snout; his viperous tail slashed in search of a victim to crush. All about him an atmosphere of brimstone and impending peril kindled. Gone was the thoughtful, lion-esque lord of the Nautilus, transformed into an emissary of a hatred either monstrous or sublime. I trembled at his transfigured presence.

Thunder pealed along the the hull. We had been struck. The Captain did not stir from the vacant portal. I rushed along the central passage; a Turu crewman leaped over me, partially flying from bat-wings or grasping ivory rungs with strong paws. My companions joined me as we entered the jets of air that led to the observation deck. The lieutenant stood at the fore, his scaled hood concealing the lean, striped hyena face. He stared through amber eyes upon the assailing vessel before departing back into the Nautilus.

Flaming tongues seared the night air. A great ship drove at us, plumes of smoke pouring from its top deck flumes. Land, in his zealous reptilian manner, gripped the rail and peered through the failing dusk at the encroaching vessel. His sleek spheres filled with luminous liquid, bioluminescent lamps from which he could peer into the distance and the depths with ease.

"A mech-of-war!" He hissed. "May it reach us; and, if necessary, sink this cursed Nautilus."

"Friend Ned," replied Conseil, "what harm can it do to the Nautilus? Can it attack beneath the waves? Can it cannonade us at the bottom of the sea?"

"Tell me, Ned?" said I, "can you recognise what Designation she belongs to?"

The Auroran's iris thinned as the glow in his ocular lanterns blazed brighter. He fixed these piercing torches upon the vessel.

"No, sir," he replied. "I cannot tell what Designation she belongs to, for she shows no colours. But I can declare she is a mech-of-war, for a long tongue of ghost flame flutters from her main mast. If she nears within a mile, I shall throw myself into the sea, and I should advise you do the same."

I did not reply to the Auroran's suggestion, but continued watching the ship. Whether Gearlocks, Hingemen, or Joules, she would be sure to take us in if we would only reach her. Lightning sparked on the foreign vessel; an azure bolt struck just shy of the Nautilus, sending up a column of steam. Afterward, a bank of scalding saline mist rolled inches from our post.

"What! They are firing at us!" I exclaimed.

"So please you, sir," said Ned, "they have recognized the unicorn, and they are firing at us."

"But," I exclaimed, "surely they can see that there are sentient souls atop the beast?"

"It is perhaps, because of that," replied Ned Land, looking at me.

A whole flood of light burst upon my mind. The races knew the supposed dire narwhal to be an elder spirit apotheosized into a living submarine vessel--more dangerous than a mere supernatural cetacean. Indeed, when we fell from the stricken Geared Emancipator, the ship's seer must have noted the overwhelming aura unique to elder beings. On every sea they were now seeking this mystical engine of destruction. Terrible indeed! If Captain Nemo employed the Nautilus in works of vengeance, as we supposed...then the races had united to hunt not a chimerical creature, but a spirit who had vowed a deadly hatred toward them. We would not be received as refugees, but skewered by merciless foes. Another blast of fatal thunderbolts flew past the waterline. My eyes recorded the sapphire light for several seconds after the volley.

The Auroran said, "Let us signal them. They will then, perhaps, understand that we are honest folks."

Land raised a webbed hand, conjuring a translucent orb of mustard hue; he had scarcely manifested it when an iron tail struck him down. He fell, despite his great strength, upon the deck.

"Fool!" exclaimed the Captain. "Do you wish to be pierced by the spur of the Nautilus before it is hurled at this vessel?"

Captain Nemo harrowed us with his voice. Much more with his presence! All flesh faded from his face, revealing a metallic dragon's skull, eye-sockets blazing with emerald fire. He held the Auroran within the vice of his calcified tail. Raising a bone claw in menace, the Captain turned upon the oncoming behemoth of the frothing mech-of-war. The lumbering amalgamation of gears and plates continued to hurl prismatic lances at the enclosing quarry. The entire Elder Creature flared a ghastly pale glow, an indication of its murderous intent. It knew its master's mood. With luminous barbs raining around him, the Captain roared in a powerful voice,

"Ah, ship of an accursed Designation, you know who I am! I do not want your colours to know you by! Look! and I will show you mine!"

Then his talon tore the air, a deeper darkness flapping in the wind. The Void unfurled, streaming as a banner from a dorsal spar. The heart-engine beneath us raged a sonorous peal that hummed through the entire vessel. An impervious bubble blossomed around us, an unshakable cage experienced before. We became helpless witnesses to the carnage. The starless banner crackled as the prow-spike surged, heedless of the wizard-weapons barraging the turbulent seas around, then above, as we dove. The Nautilus dipped beneath the liquid surface, then plunged through the mech-of-war as a needle through cloth. Cauldrons, cogs, arcs of lightning, and perilous smog swirled around, then behind, us. The mech-of-war sank, and the Captain drew the Nautilus aside the submerging vessel in its marine burial.

Jointed machines scrambled along twisted wires, followed by elves, as they clamoured for salvation. Trapped beneath the ocean, the mighty mech-of-war buckled and erupted, tossing the survivors along a violent wake. Some choked before our eyes, unable to utter a spell of warding in the suffocating waters. Grates sputtered noxious fumes as individual life-engines in mechanical bodies took on water. I began to beg clemency, when Captain Nemo commanded, "I am the law, and I am the judge! I am the oppressed, and there is the oppressor! Through him I have lost all that I loved, cherished, and venerated--kingdom, wife, children, ancestor. I saw all perish! All that I hate is there! Say no more!"
***
Today's Monday Mischief comes from the "Father of Steampunk," Jules Verne and his inspiring 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea!

 
Check out our latest Four Fools Release, Night's Nadir!

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UQWE3M8
3-16-15 Monday Mischief
1:56 PM

3-16-15 Monday Mischief

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Being the fools that we are at Four Fools Press, we always look for crazy and strange challenges to press ourselves to greater heights of creativity. A couple of us gathered together and spun up a straight-up doozy: Try to write, edit, create a cover, perform a professional layout, and publish a short story in one weekend!

As you can see, we're pretty crazy.

BUT....

I think you will LOVE what we came up with in our two-and-a-half-day mad dash to the finish line!

Prepare yourself for some daring adventures, ancient mysteries, forbidden secrets, and perilous dangers. We've worked hard to bring you a tale straight from the turbulent lands of the Middle East, though from an area most see as picked-over bones: Sinai. I think you'll find the rugged peninsula contains more than bearded men in robes and sand (though there's plenty of that too *wink* ). Some things are best left down in the deep, dark past.

I'll stop the gab and let you take a gander at the first Weekend Wonder: Night's Nadir!


http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00UQWE3M8

1st Weekend Wonder!
12:59 PM

1st Weekend Wonder!

Wednesday, March 11, 2015



Artwork © Kezrek, All Rights Reserved - http://kezrek.deviantart.com/
Story and Characters © Corey Blankenship, All Rights Reserved 
Brought to you by Four Fools Press: “Crazy Good Stories”
  
We delved too deep.

Water threatened to crush us in its Olympian jaws. We had passed thousands of meters into the Abyssal region of the sea. We were alone in an ever-blinding dark. I expected the Ferryman to come and ask how we had strayed so far from the land of the living. Only ghosts lived here.

Or so we thought.

Flickers and sudden swirls of light danced before our eyes. We had dared to kill the external lamps and behold the wonders etching life in a dead realm. The specters haunted the hull of our ship, darting closer and then blinking out of existence. How many countless gossamer tentacles stroked our vessel ponderously. The image of encircling suction cups gripped my heart as it did our phantom ship, adrift in my imagination. I shook my head. We only had meters until we reached the labyrinth of fissures and tunnels that lead into the crust. Perhaps the gates would be open and we would be the first living eyes to peer into the underworld.

The ghostly chorus of bioluminescence struck a grand finale and then vanished. Our pale floodlights groped through silty ichor. We felt truly alone once more. The barren teeth of the first stone fixture pierced the gloom before our viewport. I noted the temperature gauge for external "atmosphere" started to climb. We neared the basin. Amid the bony spurs, a wide, oval waterfront opened before us. The curved depression held a milky surface. Wide, flat, and mysterious, these submarine lakes marked our real target. The long fins of our vessel dipped into the opal waters, bouncing as ripples cascaded in front of our lens. The hull lifted as the dense waves cradled her husk. Our calculations had been correct. The unterseemeer* had been deep enough. Our Lady of Lozenor took her maiden voyage into a brine pool.

Black gave way to white. The liquid crusted and filmed whatever came into its touch. Soon the glass appeared to be no more than the exterior of a milk glass. I feared crashing, but our pilot continued forward. The sonar began its disembodied piping. We proceeded to its tune, confident only that we would not run aground so long as the fluted sounds rung true. Two seas below the surface of the world and we might find it at last.

Lost Lozenor.

The pings pulsed through our vessel like a terrible toothache. My skull screamed with each passing wave. I was sure the pearly water churned with each blast of the invisible organ. I wondered if the venture was a mistake. It couldn't be. Our Lady had been the perfection of knowledge, drawn from the hidden wisdom of our realms. The beautiful fusion of science and secrets. The maps, once stitched together, immaculate. The guiding light burned clear. So did our lamps. The murky depths disappeared into dazzling clarity. Valleys unfolded between rhythmic hills. Towers dwelled amid the roots of the aforeseen mountains. The pool receded down into a long, ever deeper tunnel. Wide libraries of forgotten secrets huddled further ahead, in life far more vivid and inviting than in picture. So much lost knowledge would be ours! I nearly threw open the hatch in my excitement, like a man who rises to the crow's nest upon seeing land.

Lozenor!

The captain made a ritual maneuver. He sounded the depths to begin mapping. The cacophony echoed from the mountains, across the hills, through the towers, down into the tunnel, and within my skull. The pealing ripped at the roots of my teeth. Oh, if only such ghastly ruckus was unneeded! The jackal screams dwindled into pianissimo and then beyond all human recognition. The cartographer scribed faithfully as if the sound persisted. My mental pain did persist. We made to embark toward the first outcroppings. The gates so clearly sealed and the windows sightless. How long had they sat gaping into the sea with no candle to warm them? How they blushed at our phantasmagorical illumination! I stared into them and they into me. Thin script whorled and spun before my eyes. The scrolls called from their sunken tomb.

Lozenor would see light once more.

Then, from the depths of the tube, came a keening. As if in answer to our song the grave sang. First a whisper, waxing then waning. Then a proper roar un-restraining. The vessel shook! Our Lady cried at the audible molestation! The very molecules of air and water howled in horror. My mind enflamed with hellish fifes and drums complaining. A crewman had to peel my hands from wrestling open the door.

Lozenor mocked our coming.

The mountains lifted from their bed. The captain swiftly pushed the vessel's prow toward the milky ceiling. Our escape. We plunged into the whitewash with sudden fury. The thrash of shrieks and constant pinging kept my brain ringing. Banging. Screaming. I cursed the lot who left long-lost Lozenor. They strapped me in my chair, eyes locked to the viewport before me. The basin pool spat us out in rage, fleeing long lost Lozenor. The tendrils of the ghost lights claimed us, grasped us, maimed us. Soon the Abyss would blind my gaze, stealing away all vision of Lozenor. I longed to see one last glimpse of lovely city beneath two seas. I tore at my restraints and twisted until my eye strained to stern's bubbled glass. What I saw made cold seep into my soul.

I saw the Lord of Lozenor.

Mountain-mawed, valley-gummed, abyss-throated, daemon-shouting God of yore. My mind un-lidded, and I cried unbidden in the tongue of Lozenor, and then spoke no more.

Ia! Ia! Loze-Shinithor!

*Literally "Undersea Lake"

***

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3-11-15 Wednesday Warm-up
7:45 AM

3-11-15 Wednesday Warm-up

Monday, March 9, 2015



Artwork © Olga Khatkovskaya, All Rights Reserved - http://khatkovskaya.deviantart.com/
Story © Brannon Hollingsworth, All Rights Reserved
Characters
© Mark Twain, All Rights Reserved
Brought to you by Four Fools Press: “Crazy Good Stories”

"TOM!"

No answer.

"TOM!"

No answer.

"What's gone with that boy, I wonder? You TOM!"

No answer.

The old lady flicked a button on the side of her M1-Avenger and squinted her eyes to peer through the high-powered scope that snicked securely into place. She looked down and through the once-finely tuned optics as she scanned the perimeter for something that looked like a boy; but was far more. A part of her, deep down, mourned the condition of her weapon. It was the pride of her heart and it had been built for service, not style -- she only wished it was still in its mint condition. But when the world had decided to fall apart, it'd decided to take everything else with it in its rocketing descent into utter entropy.

Her scope had been one of the first things to go. The eyes were always the first thing to go, she guessed.

It didn't help that she had Tom to deal with, on top of all that.

She looked perplexed for a moment, and then said, not fiercely, but still loud enough for the delapitated furniture to hear:

"Well, I lay my eyes on you, I'll -- "

She did not finish, for by this time she was bending down and pushing through the nearly decayed camouflaged net that hung over the entrance into her bunker. She thought she'd seen some movement on the top of the outermost wall. It looked like a cat slipping through the concertina wire. Could it have been Tom?

"I never could understand the movements of that boy!"

She stalked out through the black solar screened "fields", really, little more than poor, scraggly patches of tomato and jicama vines that constituted the whole of the complex's garden. One of her old, rheumy eyes was glued to the Avenger's scope and the other was pinched hard against the glare of the broiling sun. She had to be quick, ever since the life-giving orb in the sky had gone crazy and started trying to kill everyone on earth, most folks could not stay long outside.

No one, it seemed, but the things like Tom.

"Y-o-u-u TOM!"

The sound of his voice sent an ice-pick down her neck and injected ice water into her veins. The distinctly human-sounding sound that Tom could make was one of the reasons why she--and the rest of her kind--still thought of them as humans. It was one of the reasons why Tom and his kind had been able to get so close to them in the first place. Now, it just made her want to scream and run back into the relative safety of the bunker.

Not that the bunker would stop Tom. He'd been inside before too.

There was a slight nose behind her and she spun just in time to spy the movement of a small boy-sized something flit from a shadowy pool of darkness beneath a solar screen towards the still open bunker door.

And just like she'd done a thousand thousand times before, Aunt Polly softly squeezed--not pulled, not yanked--the trigger on her Avenger. Before she could blink, she'd sent a burst of three rounds down range. Tom's head exploded into a wet mist of gore and pulp.

The tomatoes had not been so red in years.

Aunt Polly let out the breath that she'd been holding and shuffled over to the boy that she'd once called Tom. He'd been an enemy of the complex for so long: stealing food, supplies, and even from time to time, dragging off members of their small, barely surviving society. No one knew what Tom's kind did with the folks they took. None of them had ever been seen again.

'It didn't much matter now', Aunt Polly thought as she turned Tom over.

Immediately, she knew that something was wrong...horribly wrong. There was not much of Tom's head left, but from what she could see - it wasn't Tom. It was Jim, a small colored boy that Tom had stolen three weeks ago. He looked horribly emaciated with his mouth sewn shut; the most odd thing of all, a strange, metal, spider-looking device had been hammered into the base of his neck.

It was then that all the hairs stood up on the back of Aunt Polly's neck. At first, she thought it was because of the horrific thing that she'd done--killing poor Jim--or the horrific thing that had been done to him and lay before her now. Then, something happened that let her know that she knew that she was wrong. So absolutely, horribly wrong.

"Why I did sew it with white! TOM!" The voice slithered over her shoulder, sliding like a snake over simmering hot rocks. It was Tom's unusual, yet still-somehow-human voice.

Aunt Polly saw that Jim's mouth had been sewn together with white thread. And then her world went white has hard little hands--about the size of a small boy--drug her down into darkness.

***
The above story is a genre twist based on fans' votes for our Monday Mischief. It is based on Mark Twain's beloved, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer! Did you enjoy it? Tune in for more Monday Mischief!


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3-9-15 Monday Mischief
7:04 PM

3-9-15 Monday Mischief

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Artwork © Christopher Lovell, All Rights Reserved - http://lovell-art.deviantart.com/
Story and Characters © Raulston Hunsinger, All Rights Reserved 
Brought to you by Four Fools Press: “Crazy Good Stories”

“They come,” Princess Adwin said in a low murmur. She was sweating in her mail, her helm heavy on her head beneath the noon sun as it baked the scrubby grassland that stretched out before her.

High on the parapet of the fortress called unflatteringly, the Plug, because it blocked passage through the Briginbar Pass, she took in the vast army that spread out across the plain. The dead army. They stood row upon row, slowly swaying in their ordered lines, as if they had to continually adjust their balance. The stench of those that were recently recruited reached her at this height and distance.

The dwarf turned to the human that stood beside her. Tall, even for his race, he was as spar as a pine, his shoulders slightly stooped with the age and mail that weighed him down. She allowed her eyes to drop to the sword at his side, an ancient battle-blade, with a worn hilt and a pommel of silver, a baying wolf head with emeralds for the eyes. A relic of another age, the blade of a Wolf-Knight. The elite warriors that served the High Kings of the humans. The High King was no more and men such as this one served various lords, recalling that ancient order as their own. Behind him, in forest leathers, a chain vestment his only armor stood a young man. Armed with a short-sword and bow, a quiver across his back, this was his apprentice, or squire as they called these stripling knights in training.

The three necromancers, undead themselves, detached from their horde and stood patiently in front of the great stone gates of the Fortress Briginbar, the true name for the Plug. Desiccated things from a bygone time when a great sprawling kingdom lay to the south of the grass lands. None knew what had ended that vast empire, but these three had emerged from the dry wastes to challenge the living and the Plug barred their way to verdant lands and the human kingdoms beyond. One appeared to be goblin-kin, mummified with its elongated ears still prevalent, snaggled incisors, and mossy beard. Black pits for eyes stared blankly up at the top of the wall as it stood mutely, a fetish staff topped with a human skull in its fist. Another was a skeletal husk draped in rotting silks and veils, as the woman of the Western Seas, with its cities of gold minarets wore. Little could be seen save cadaverous shadows and glimpses when a breeze caught the gossamer garments. The center of the trio, the one that stood to the fore, was a woman, white skinned, her bleached features covered by a heavy black cowl and gold embroidered robes. Talon tipped hands gripped a grimoire. About the whole, including the hoard, various carrion birds wheeled and dived, not attacking, confused by the mobility of their meals.

“Shall we go parley, Sir Knight,” the princess said, her tone bordering on insult.

The old knight stroked his beard, his pale eyes gimlet sparks in the wrinkled folds of his face. “No need. They have no reason to discuss terms other than to have you in their grasp, Lady. They will simply try to overrun the walls with their vast numbers. What are casualties to those already dead?”

The Lady Dwarf looked out over the gathered dead then back to her own defenders, stout dwarves all, armored and preparing defenses. Indeed, what are casualties to the dead? 


***

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3-4-15 Wednesday Warm-up
9:01 AM

3-4-15 Wednesday Warm-up

Monday, March 2, 2015

Artwork © Leo Diamond, All Rights Reserved - http://leodiamond.deviantart.com/
Story © Corey Blankenship, All Rights Reserved
Characters
© L. Frank Baum, All Rights Reserved
Brought to you by Four Fools Press: “Crazy Good Stories”

From the minute I drove up to the scene, I knew the fight was over. You didn’t have to be in the business for years to see an open-and-shut case. I just didn’t want to be a part of the fallout that came with it.

You don’t knock off the Witch of East End and not expect repercussions.

The Little Folk took kindly to the news. All yammerin’ and whisperin’ from their hidin’ holes. They couldn’t believe the roughest, toughest woman of the East had been killed. All by a house, no less. I wouldn’t have believed it myself, except here it was: An out-of-towner house of cards blew in, smackin’ the queen of the midgets flat to the earth. The House always wins.

You could see her mean-eyed corpse turnin’ green beneath the new-flung porch. She’d fallen to her death. A dramatic do in after a cyclone of a turf war.

The porcelain princess in front of me was all pigtails and sweetness. Her velvety ringlets danced in delicate twisters. She had the demeanor of an eye of a hurricane: Peaceful-looking but hinting to a world of devastation. I had cued in on her from the start. She would be a syrupy dollop of trouble, of that I could be certain.

I puffed at my meerschaum cigarette wand and let out, “A regular act of God, dolly.”

The innocent faced girl in the plain dress gave me a tearful look. “Wu-what?”

“An act of God. You saved these little fellahs a hard life. You should be grateful,” I added in my classic deadpan. Some men found my voice enchantin’, sultry, but I didn’t give a care. All part of the life of bein’ a female Emerald City Investigator.

“You should head into town. The Mayor will want to commend you for a job well done. Her sister will want a piece of you for cuttin’ in like you did…” I continued languidly. “You really shouldn’t dawdle. Goldbar Street will lead you to the Mayor’s manor.”

“But I didn’t mean to...it’s all my fault,” curly-locks sobbed. “How can I apologize to the lady’s sister?”

“Apologize?” I laughed. “No apologizin’ necessary. She’ll want your head, but these here girls are all steel and grit. Right wicked. They’d skinned the lot of these munchkins just for a laugh. No, you’ll want to steer clear of the Cackle of Westside.”

A cacklin’ shriek burst about the crime scene like gunfire. Speak of the devil, as they say. There she stood, a long sip of vinegar in her black satin dress. She had killer looks, and looks that could kill. All the poor Joes who called on her became regular flyin’ apes, dancin’ to do her dirty work. She came to crash the parade before it could begin. A regular jinx of a minx.

“WHO KILLED MY SISTER!” She squealed. The fire in her eyes told me it wasn’t much of a mystery. “WHO KILLED HER!” Nails on chalkboard sounded like a lover’s croon compared to her shrill speech.

A skeletal finger thrust like a rapier at the poor pig-tailed heroine. “YOU! You killed her. I’ll get you. I’ll get you good.” Miss Sunset Slayer looked down at the picnic basket in the doll’s hand, where a soft ball of fluff peered out with doleful sparkles. “And your little dog too!”

I knew it was goin’ to get ugly in the City. I better warn the Mayor. He’s a real wizard in these sorts of situations.

I tapped my ivory holder and gave the Mistress of Shills and Shrills a taste of her own poison. “Not here, you won’t. She’s got the Mayor’s kiss of protection. You don’t want to cross him, especially outside your jurisdiction.”

“You’re one to talk!” She scowled. “Ms. Priss of the Northern Wastes--”

“--Ward,” I cut in.

“Hmph,” The dead ermine on her collar slumped its shoulders. She batted her dagger eyes. “Not for long.”

She vanished from the scene like a puff of smoke. Miss dove soul melted into a pretty waterfall. I noticed she stood in drab shoes and all pathetic, lookin’ more in the streets than any of these workin’ class shorties. I collected the platinum pumps off the corpse. Not like she’d be flashin’ down Goldbar anytime soon.

I handed them to the kid and said, “Here, doll. It’ll make the walk into the City bearable. The town crew will clean up your House. Besides, you should find some regular muscle to keep you company. There’s some good Joes along the way.”

I stepped back toward my whitewash coach and tried to give her a cheer-up with one of my golden smiles, “Look for a former liontamer, a steelworker, and a local farm hand. They’re reliable folk as any. Tell ‘em the Good Witch sent ya. See you soon.”

Doll face gave me a sheepish grin, revealin’ a surprisin’ glow. I had a good feelin’ about her. Little did I know she would turn all of Oz upside down.



***
The above story is a genre twist based on fans' votes for our Monday Mischief. It is based on L. Frank Baum's beloved, Wizard of Oz! Did you enjoy it? Tune in for more Monday Mischief!


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3-2-15 Monday Mischief
7:08 AM

3-2-15 Monday Mischief

Friday, February 27, 2015

Artwork © Elier, All Rights Reserved - http://snake-n-da-box.deviantart.com/
Story and Characters © Brannon Hall, All Rights Reserved 
Brought to you by Four Fools Press: “Crazy Good Stories”

An excerpt from The Guestbook...

A few minutes went by as Dirk and Harrold discussed the odd picture on the wall. Tom was in a full out argument—it seemed with the boar’s head. Leroy had managed to still not have a fire going though Harrold could have sworn he had seen it flickering a bit earlier. Ron was cooking in his modern day chlorine-ladened cauldron on the back deck and he was guessing Brett was running back to England.  “All right gents”, Harrold said aloud as he quaffed his beer and dropped the empty vessel on the table top. “I’m headed back into Friday to brush my teeth and crash. Some of us drove half the night and are dead tired."

Harrold pressed the last dose of tooth paste out of the travel sized tube on to his tooth brush and started brushing his pearly whites. He grinned at his reflection in the mirror above the sink as he scrubbed the front set and worked his way to the back. He tipped his head towards the sink and spit the frothy waste product of clean teeth into the bowl. As he stood, mouth cleared, he noticed that the reflection in the mirror had continued brushing. It was still foaming at the mouth like a wild dog. Harrold scowled and took a half step back from the still brushing reflection. The image never looked at him. It just kept on brushing with a mad look in its eyes. Harrold felt ice run through his veins.

BLAM BLAM, BLAM BLAM BLAM!! Gun shots from the front room jarred him from his contemplation. He dropped the tooth brush and rushed into the small hallway. The image in the mirror grinned as it watched him leave, froth running down its leering jowls.

The carnage that greeted him in the cabin’s main room rocked him to his heels. It was like time itself had shifted on its end, throwing Harrold into his own personal hell.

***

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Foolish Friday - 02-27-15
12:24 PM

Foolish Friday - 02-27-15

Monday, February 23, 2015


2-23-15 Writing Warm-up
Artwork © Sasha Lefebvre, All Rights Reserved - http://sachalefebvre.deviantart.com/
Story and Characters © Corey Blankenship, All Rights Reserved 
Brought to you by Four Fools Press: “Crazy Good Stories”

The truck drove heedlessly through bushes and ruts. Screams from the city came as a faint moaning on the wind. The driver, his face marred by grease, stared into the mirror. He almost expected hungry, blood-stained eyes to glare back. His throat tried to gulp, instead he gasped. The African heat drank greedily from his body, stealing precious water.

"Shouldn't we turn the lights on?" The shrill whisper came from the passenger seat.

The soiled driver jerked his head sideways and blinked. He had almost forgotten about his travel companion. Fear feasted on his thoughts. The shock of her voice blew the fog to the corners of his mind.

"Mara, we need to get further away. The light will attract them. You saw how they followed our flashlight!"

The woman drew her fragile-looking legs closer, as if cold in the 34 degree weather. Sweat dripped from her brow. She replied through her knees, "But, Kodzo, if we hit a tree or a wildebeest, we'll be stuck...and they will get us..."

"It's a chance we have to take," He shot back. He needed to keep his thoughts on prodding the vehicle forward. His mind threatened to scatter like flamingos from a crocodile.

The shocks squealed as they surged over a bank and smashed into a dry river bed. The cracked lips of the dead waterway collapsed and coughed silt into the air. The dust swirled about the vehicle, blinding them. He slammed the accelerator, and then the dash. The engine had whined in protest. The brown darkness stained the windows and blinded the mirrors. The truck would not move.

"Kodzo..." Her voice wavered on the edge of tears.

"Damn, it's stuck." He couldn't stop shaking.

Silence circled the whimpering engine of the truck.

Mara eventually offered, "Maybe you can push it out."

He glared at her as though she had suggested he walk on lava. "I'll turn on the lights. Maybe we can see better. They shouldn't see us down here."

Before she could protest, he turned the headlamps to high. White light flooded the riverbed, bounced off the swirling dust, and blinded the occupants. Both blinked and then blinked again. A shadow stood between the headlamps. A broad leaf hung from the right side, while a slender, spiky branch stuck from its left. The strange tree had smooth, dark bark, accented with dully gleaming vines. It was no tree.

It was a man.

Mara started shrieking. Kodzo put a hand on her shoulder and shook her. "It's ok! He is Masaai. We are saved!"

Kodzo leaped from the car and into the chalky riverbed. The dust had thinned and stars stabbed through the haze. Then he saw them. Shadows weaved on the edge of the lamplight. The Maasai warrior turned his head toward Kodzo's bloodless face. The driver's eyes bulged.

The warrior's mouth foamed.

***

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2-23-15 Writing Warm-up
10:21 AM

2-23-15 Writing Warm-up

Friday, February 20, 2015


2-20-15 Writing Warm-up
Artwork © Felipe Sorbreiro, All Rights Reserved - http://sobreiro.deviantart.com/
Story and Characters © Corey Blankenship, All Rights Reserved 
Brought to you by Four Fools Press: “Crazy Good Stories”

Diesel is the magic of the new age.

Pure. Powerful. Flammable.

"The big wheels keep on turnin' / Proud Mary keep on burnin' / And we're rollin', rollin', Rollin' on..."

"Please stop singing. I'd rather pass my last moments in silence." The old man finally found some steel to put in his tone.

I cocked him a glance. "Fair enough."

Besides songs I wasn't big on words. And I wasn't too much on singin' myself. But today was the last day I'd be doing either. Poor pops, I forgot this was his last day, too, so I owed him that little respect. And more...

The freight engine gobbled rails faster than a man could chew. I had laid a fair share of my own in my time. The road and tracks had been my home since I could curl up in my father's cab. Now, I had one final route to run. I smiled. This should be fun.

The path bent around a scree flanked bend, walls of trees bristled above the white gravel. After the curve, I saw what I looked for. Metro city, aka "Meat Factory." Or, as I'd like to think today, Proud Mary. The towers would be mad hives, and the streets filled with walking corpses. She stood thick with cord wood, dried by a life sated only by blood frenzy. It made me think of my father's great-great-great-great-great grandpa. Way back when blood fury had respect. And fear. I had lived to see courage become fashionable again.

Soon I'd be amid my fore-pas, tellin' tales and swiggin' ale.

I rolled down my window, letting in a refreshing winter wind. Time to get the man-beasts attention.

SWOOOOOOOOO!!! SWOOOOOOO!!!! SWOOOOO!!!

My horn howled my rage and rang the dinner bell. The blasts leaped from rock to rock, house to house, tower to tower. In the quiet of a dead planet, I may as well split the earth or let loose thunderbolts. My smile grew bigger. Thunderbolts. That's family talk.

Suburban Hel fled behind and the spires of Proud Mary advanced. All the while, black blobs bubbled into view between buildings. Each time a gap opened I saw them. They kept getting larger and faster. I drove slow to let them keep up.

"Keep comin', trolls!" I jeered over the engines.

"You know they aren't trolls." Pops pouted, face staring ahead.

"They'll eat you like one, and they burn like trolls. They're trolls today."

"If you insist," he piped back.

"I do." I thundered.

Today I would not be cheated my glory. Especially by a broken weakling.

I pulled the freight train right to the center of the city. The engine ceased its buffet. I patted the gearbox. I hoped the last meal had sated the steel wyrm. I reached below the seat and yanked up my proud sledge. It gleamed dully in the faint sunlight. The old man stared at the steel head, and then spoke his mind. He'd gotten used to that these last few days.

"So that's your fabled hammer," he stated without enthusiasm.

I lifted it and studied my reflection in it. Beard and hair gleamed gold. Fierce blue burned in my eyes. Yes. The blood still ran true. Our pride. My glory. I stared beyond the modern exterior to the core, the real birthright of my family. There, recast in this simple sledge, a flake from Thor's own lived. It had passed to me. Last son. The first in a five hundred years to take this hammer into war. I frowned.

"I'm sorry, Rivka's father," I confessed.

He hissed air as if I had crushed his chest.

"I thank you for giving me thunder...I wish she could see this day," I offered.

He roared, "How dare you...you who used her and left her to these monsters. How dare you! Go to Hel where you belong!"

"Hel is for these beasts and weak fools who can't defend their own!" I bellowed back.

The frail elder curled against the wall. I had jumped to my feet at his curse. My hammer hovered next to my head. Damn the milk-drinker for provoking my anger on this day.

I pointed the sledge at his chest. "You curse me when I confess. Rivka was worthy of a better father."

Pops sobbed into his drawn knees. I took an iron hook and slipped it over the horn wire. The pipes challenged the damned. They would come. They always do.

I pulled out a knife and scraped a fresh cut into my shoulder. A fourth mark to match the top three. Three times I had lured the beasts. Three times I had slain them in fury and fire.

This time would have Pop's mythic Sodium.

This time would blend water and fire into thunder.

This time would be the last.

As I jumped onto the first car, the husks crawled, limped, and charged toward my train. My thunder. I raised Thor's Seed and cried my hatred. The frothing sea shrieked in a banshee chorus. A bone-thin troll managed to tumble off a platform onto the car. My sledge turned his chest into dust and he flew into the waves of hungry claws below. They tore into each other for a chew of his bones.

The valve stood on top of the tank. I swung the hammer against its blocky side. The valve turned a quarter-inch. I struck it twice more, twisting the head slowly around. Then a blood-stained skull appeared in front of me. Long black vines hung around a pointed face. She had been a beauty once. Now she leered through hollow eyes and torn lips. I split her skull with a hammer blow from my fist. These shadow-men had nothing on a son of thunder.

The first valve groaned and then steamed. I ran to the next and raged my steel weapon against its soft iron skin. I had to finish quick. The old man had said the thunder would come quick. Three husks crawled along the catwalk. I broke them with backswings as I moved the cap with blows. The second whined and whistled steam. I raced for the third and final valve.

All around the train the trolls swarmed. They bit and tore at each other until piles choked the wheels. Up they surged to face me, and down I threw them back with Thor's Seed and my fists. Their poisoned blood caked my hands and hammer. My pure blood sung in my veins. The fire in the sky burned full. The moment had come and it was glorious. Three valves spat tongues of mist. I had only moments until the thunder roared.

Two small barks rang out over the deafening roar of the horn. I turned and saw him. The old man braced against the rail as he wielded a double shotgun. Pops slid cartridges into the breech with a sure hand. Gone was the whimpering fool. It seemed threats of Hel had raised the warrior in his bones. I laughed as he blasted two more into death. He walked calmly down the catwalk. When a beefy husk charged him as he reloaded, pops grabbed the gun by its nose and smashed the brute in the head. It staggered and tumbled into the horde. I may raise a glass with him yet!

His cold grey eyes met my own. His face looked as grim as Odin and fierce in his fury. The All-Father burned in this man. Though I could not hear his words, I knew in my heart what he had said.

For Rivka.

"For Valhal!" I answered.

Then I launched from the heights, hammer in hand. I laughed. I roared. I flashed. I thundered.

Proud Mary burned.

***

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2-20-15 Writing Warm-up
10:43 AM

2-20-15 Writing Warm-up

Thursday, February 19, 2015


2-19-15 Writing Warm-up
Artwork © Derek Burns, All Rights Reserved - http://deviantdel.deviantart.com/
Story and Characters © Corey Blankenship, All Rights Reserved 
Brought to you by Four Fools Press: “Crazy Good Stories”

You always remember the day you die.

I had been on a special assignment for my college, helping at the city's civic center. "Fun for the Feudal fanatic" had been the HR rep's spin. She thought she was funny with her backhand compliment. I smiled, nodded, and imagined her taking part in ritual sepukku. It made us both part with warm feelings. I would enjoy having a chance to put my hands on real artifacts. This traveling exhibit touted itself as the largest demonstration of Edo era Samurai and Shinobi crafts. Having once studied abroad in Japan, my university's human resources department thought I was a perfect match. Archeology intern. Martial artist. Edo enthusiast. More likely, it was because I was one of three interns and had a pretty face. I again imagined the vain-minded lot sacked by dragon-masked warriors. I sighed.

It would be good to get away from the rat warren and have fun.

The exhibition hall beckoned with flanking rows of silk nobori, beautiful characters stitched onto their vibrant fields. I walked between them and entered a world outside space and time. Pagodas stood as islands amid a sea of reeds, craftsman stalls, and cultural displays. Bamboo mats carpeted the floor like light brown rivers flowing between workshops and artifacts. The dull concrete room had been transformed into Edo Japan in miniature. When a woman in an crane-embossed kimono walked up to me, I expected her to speak fluent Japanese. I almost missed that she hadn't as I admired her jade hairpin.

"Welcome. You're Alice? I am Jasmine Brown, the lead curator for the exhibit."

"Jasmine..." My brain struggled to associate a European name with her period ambiance.

"Yes. Like the tea." She smiled warmly.

I smiled back, snapping back into reality. "A real pleasure to meet you! I'm so thrilled to be here, working with you."

"We're glad to have you!" She beamed back. "Did you bring your own kimono?"

"Kimono?" I cursed in my mind. Damn HR. Details. "No, I wasn't informed that I would need anything other than business attire."

"Not a problem. We have a wardrobe for our workers. You can choose from one of ours."

"Thanks." I condemned HR to a thousand cubicle hells. No, wait. They might like it there.

Jasmine escorted me past ornate panels, smiths in original garb setting out their tools, even a few men in samurai armor. The entire operation stood in elaborate contrast to textbook lessons. When she pointed to a secluded area, where racks brimmed in a rainbow of materials, my jaw dropped. Even this wardrobe possessed the Edo charm. I was in heaven.

The curator emphasized each word as she spoke,"You can choose whatever you like. Just be sure to write down the numbers and your name in the checkout log. Most are reproductions, but a few have some historical significance."

That is to say, more expensive that a lifetime of college loans.

"I will. Thanks."

She disappeared, leaving me to inspect the wardrobe. A thoughtful organizer had separate the racks by gender and role. I thought it would be fun to try the ornate Geisha kimono, and then remembered the makeup aspect...not a fan of a hundred-pound cake job, no matter how elegant and pretty. What would be my one-weekend fantasy role in Edo Japan? I mused. Then I noticed my hand idly thumbed a beautiful, simple kimono. Gold tracery flowed over its black border, lining the ultramarine-dyed silk. I found the soft cover fit comfortably, like a gentle waterfall wrapped against my skin. I would only need to find geta that were my shoe size to wear. Though I hated posting pictures, this was portrait worthy. I could stomach a mirror shot this once.

As I looked for the best angle with their floor-length mirror, a crimson shadow hung at the corner of my vision. I glanced over and saw the most curious piece: An O-yoroi lamellar armor augmented with kusari chain-mail. I had only seen a full rokugu in display cases. The woven fusion spoke of the glory of Samurai warlords, epic conflict, and violent intrigue. I had to try it on. So I did.

Little did I know that I was putting on my burial clothes.

Seeing my pale skin, blond locks, and slate blue eyes float above the plate-and-chain armor seemed surreal. I looked like an Americanized Mulan. Of course, in Japanese, not Chinese, armor. This would make a killer photo. I found my phone awkward to manuever in the greaves. A gratifying snap told me I had succeeded. Epic photo of the day goes to me, I thought.

A shuffling outside the paper screens told me that I was about to have an intruder. I turned to see Jasmine's shadow stain the pale divider. Crap. I must have taken too long. She'll want me to take off this suit. The debatable tradition of onna-bugeisha would not be the way to start out our weekend together. The curator mumbled something as she brushed into the divider.

"Sorry for the delay. I got carried away with all these beautiful pieces you have. I'll be right out."

She grumbled something in response that I didn't make out. Instead of waiting for me to come out, she came into the room. Through the paper. She stumbled over the bamboo braces, and then I saw her face. Eyes bloodshot, her beautiful smile twisted into a snarl, and her chin dripped foam. She growled and charged, arms clawing wildly through the air. I found my instincts kick in. I spread my feet into a battle stance, bringing my arms up, greaves facing out. Her nails scraped at the stained armor, spilling her own blood from fractured nail beds. My dream world had become a nightmare.

I pushed her back and cried out, "Jasmine! What's wrong?"

She howled and dove back at me. I focused on her wrists, capturing her left and hurling her into mirror. I didn't have to be a medical student to know she was batshit crazy. Damn rabid, more like. The glass fixture fell and shattered over her thin body. I winced, thinking I had used too much force. Amazingly, she rose from the ground, a twisted spine of shards in her back. She hobble-hopped back at me, snapping her perfect teeth as she dove for my throat. I marveled at her stamina. I also realized this was mortal combat. I had to finish this before she hurt anyone else.

So much for a fun-filled weekend.

I wrestled the blood-slick woman, seeking to keep space between her fangs and my face. Too bad the room didn't have an armory. I glanced past her fevered eyes to her amazingly well-kept hair. The jade hairpin remained firmly lodged in her traditional bun. I reached past her bleeding left claw, careful not to get my exposed fingers bit, and pulled the jewelry out of her bun. She scraped uselessly at my side, the authentic chain-mail showing its worth. I gulped and did what seemed my only choice. I plunged the jade sliver into her eye, and then punched it through with the greave. The feral woman collapsed in a ruin of blood and tattered robe.

My stomach felt like I drank acid. I glanced at the shattered mirror, noting the flecks of blood on my face and armor. I found rubbing alcohol on the counter, used to help with makeup removal. I grabbed a cloth, doused it, and quickly, viciously wiped the stains away. I didn't want whatever she had infecting me. I checked for wounds. The armor and training did their job.

Reality sunk in again. I just killed a woman. A crazy woman, but a woman nonetheless. Shit. How was I going to explain this? As if in answer, more growls and moans echoed in the spacious arena. Whatever she had, she was not alone. But I was. I grabbed the helmet and dragon mask from their stand, and found some armored gloves. I'd rather not risk another exposure.

I needed to get my hands on a weapon. Fast.

I kicked down the wall, half-expecting to find another demon-possessed reenactor on the other side. The wall slapped concrete. A couple growls answered. Then I thought I should go for the more silent route. Crouching low, I followed the bamboo path in the opposite direction of the noise. A weaponsmith workshop had been around here somewhere. Thankfully, the place would have just been opening, so the only people in the room would be staff and volunteers. The thought of crazed colleagues wasn't as comforting as I hoped. Especially if some of them happened to go crazy with weapons on hand.

The weapon's shop stood as pleasant hut amid dry reed sheaves. I glanced around and didn't see the worker who had been laying out tools. A few display weapons hung on the back wall. I scanned around once more, hating how the yelps and growls echoed in an all-around way. I darted for the hut. I didn't have time to weigh and balance each piece. A wrong-sized katana would be dangerous to wield. I went for the obvious solution for keeping crazies out of arms reach. A naginata.

Just when I pulled the polearm from the wall, I heard his heavy breathing. Damn it. He was close. I spun, hands working the thick oak pole in a protective arc. The smith had been hiding in the bushes like a lion in the wild. He veered away from the blade in his charge, but I felt his hungry gaze tear into me.

"Stand back!" I called out.

He roared and charged, foam breaking against his beard. I slashed downward, striking him from shoulder to hip. He fell and howled, still trying to grab at me. I drove the sword tip through his chin and he stilled. My stomach was in full revolt now. I had no time to vomit. The others would pick up on his death throes. I gave the shelf a once over, and decided I needed some spare weapons. I hastily added a katana and wakizashi to the armor's belts. Well, fighting as a samurai in the apocalypse was certainly near the top of "Most interesting ways to die." I tried to keep the being clawed to death part out of my mind.

I had to get out of here. Screw going for my phone, i.d., anything that belonged to my life 15 minutes ago. That was deeper into the house of horrors. I had to find security, somebody, anybody still sane. Then the lights went out. Perfect timing. Murphy's a bitch. A grey dimness settled over one side of the spacious cavern. 

That must be sunlight.

I had to give it a shot.

The crazies must have noticed the change in lighting, too, because their screeches took on a wolflike tone. My skin crawled. The hunt was on. I rounded one of the exterior corners when I heard the clop of clog-wearing feet. Six pairs galloped behind me. Two pairs before me. Five audible enemies. I was surrounded. Better face death head-on than run from it. The "Bushi Way," I mused bitterly. The strange image of the HR lady sitting somewhere sipping coffee, watching this little "Hunger Games" with a smile, leaped into my mind. In the heat of the moment, I really hoped she had been eaten.

"Focus!" I hissed to myself.

Five v. One. Time for tactics.

Two armored shadows crawled into view. One had a sword sticking from his side. Apparently a duel had occurred before the other joined the madness. They passed a ronin statue in pursuit of their prey. Then the ronin did the strangest thing. It came to life, cutting off their heads. The two died without a whimper. With the two front guards down, I ran headlong for the exit. The others would hopefully pause to check their own. Or eat them. I shuddered.

The grey light beaconed hope as I mounted the stairs. No security or savages could be seen. I ran straight through the vestibule and toward the glass doors. I had made it. I was free. Then reality impaled me. I looked beyond the gateway of freedom and realized I was dead.

The world was dead.

I stood reflected on the window, a pane stained with blood. Bodies and burning cars littered the sunny streets. I had fought only a small scale battle in a greater war for survival. My mind rebelled against the truth. But there it was, a world gone mad.

I died that day, and the warrior-survivalist took my place.

***

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2-19-15 Writing Warm-up
11:36 AM

2-19-15 Writing Warm-up